Desperate Housewives

We get a new episode this week (yay!) on March 4. It’s called “My Husband the Pig” and it’s the episode that will be narrated by Rex Van de Kamp that we’ve been hearing about for so long. According to the ABC.com website:

Rex Van De Kamp takes over the role as narrator of the goings on at Wisteria Lane, observing things from a male perspective, Edie gets a visit from an unexpected someone from her past, and an unanticipated pregnancy creates complications.

Sounds very juicy! I was also able to dig up some spoilers about this week’s episode (as well as some future happenings!) that I want to share. So here is your spoiler warning. After the jump, I’ll dig into the secrets. If you’d rather not know, don’t click the link!
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Eva Longoria and Tony Parker had a wild weekend in Vegas this past weekend. Did they? Or didn’t they? While they played coy with reporters, they did insist that they will be tying the knot in France in July. No jumping the gun yet! Though Eva was quoted as saying, “We said, why not? All of our friends are here, so our job tonight is to have a good time.â€? Of course, she was referring to the bash the couple put on at PURE nightclub, to celebrate the NBA All-Star game that Parker was there to participate in in the first place. And, Hollywood as she is, I doubt Eva would consent to getting married in that goofy looking shorts suit she was wearing, even thought it was white.

The Oscars don’t have much to do with television, so a lot of our favorites from “Desperate Housewives” weren’t in attendance. However, the parties had a few of our stars come out in their red carpet best. Marcia, of course, was busy elsewhere. Felicity put in an appearance at the Independent Spirit awards the day before, but not at any of the Oscar parties, unfortunately.

James Denton and his wife Erin O’Brien Denton showed up at Elton John’s big bash to benefit AIDS awareness. I don’t know what kind of car that is that they’re posing in front of, but it looks pretty hawt, don’t you think? I saw a quick interview with James last night as he arrived at the party and he seemed so happy to be invited and like he was a very big fan of Elton’s. Well… who isn’t?
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Kyle MacLachlan and his wife Desiree Gruber showed up at the Vanity Fair party (which I heard was the best of the best, last night). I’m feeling a lot better about Orson on “Desperate Housewives” now that we know he’s not a psycho murderer so the feeling has transferred to Kyle as well. And he does look fine in a tux, doesn’t he?
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Nicolette also showed up at the Vanity Fair bash with her main squeeze, Michael Bolton. I also caught a bit of an interview with them at the arrivals. She looked good in her dress, but I must admit she always seems to wear the same kind of dress. She doesn’t seem to try much new in the red carpet fashion arena. Slinky and revealing is her MO. But it works, right?

All in all, it must be fun to be able to just enjoy Oscar night, without having to worry about being nominated for an award or deal with much fanfare and hoopla. I think it’d be fun to be able to just get duded up and go out to one of the parties and rock the night away.

Apparently Marcia’s recent welcome additions have stirred a longing in Eva Longoria. Even with the wedding to Tony Parker still months away (the date is still set for 7-7-07), the word is that Eva and Tony are already planning to start a family. Not one to dilly dally, now that Eva has found her perfect man, she wants the perfect baby to go with it. So are they trying already? Sure sounds like it! Another source has hinted that Eva might request her character of Gabrielle on “Desperate Housewives” become pregnant along with her, though a rep for Anthony Chavira (who plays her husband Carlos) denies the rumor. Best of luck to this gorgeous duo. I hope she gets her wish.

I always feel good when something I’ve previously reported on becomes fact. This time? The fact that Marc Cherry wants “Desperate Housewives” to air for seven seasons. Remember that interview? Turns out the deal is permanent now. Marc Cherry has signed a huge, eight-figure deal with ABC to work on “Desperate Housewives” for four more years. This is right in line with his vision of a seven-year span for his brainchild. The principle “Desperate Housewives” players have also signed on for four more years as well. So we have many happy years ahead of us to air the dirty laundry. Maybe by then we’ll get Gabby and Carlos back together and maybe (just maybe) Susan and Mike will finally end up together. You guys have four years, you better get to work on all that!

Marcia Cross has given birth to her twins! The fraternal twin girls were born yesterday (wow, I’m slow on the news, aren’t I?) in Los Angeles. The names are Eden and Savannah, two very, very lovely choices. The twins weren’t due to show up until April, but considering that multiple pregnancies are less likely to go to term and Marcia has been on bedrest for several weeks now, their early appearance isn’t that shocking or unusual. Marcia’s rep Heidi Slan says that mother and daughters are all doing well. I can’t wait to see the pictures, can you? Congrats to Marcia and her husband, Tom Mahoney!

Desperate Housewives, Marcia Cross, Tom Mahoney, Eden and Savannah, twin girls, celebrity babies

At long, long last! I’m back at home and was finally able to see this week’s truly awesome episode. Gosh, where to begin? Ian and Susan go to the hospital to pick up the last of Jane’s personal things. But, oops!, the nurses mixed up the goods and Ian is given Mike’s things instead. The nurses fix the problem, but not before Ian spots an engagement ring in the mix and pockets it. Sneaky! Ian is further distressed when he learns that Mike now remembers everything. He also looks a little peeved when he sees Mike and Susan chatting at the opening of the Scavo Pizzeria. So what does he do? He proposes! I loved how Julie had to prompt Susan to drop her pizza when Ian got down on bended knee. Of course, Susan says yes. And you know what? i almost cared.

Meanwhile, Gabby thinks she slept with Zack in a drunken fog. Simply because they woke up in bed together, minimally dressed. And she feels predictably ucky about the whole thing. So she asks Carlos to act jealous and scare him off. When Carlos approaches Zack at the urinals in the bathroom of the Scavo Pizzeria (??), he happens to catch a glimpse of Zack’s.. ahem, manhood. And apparently it is abundant. Abundant enough that Carlos knows that Gabby wouldn’t be able to forget it. So he relays this information to her. When an infuriated Gabby confronts Zack, he admits to staging it. Then? He asks her to marry him (following Ian’s romantic suit, no less) to which she calls him an idiot. Guess that’s a no.

But all that isn’t what you want to hear, is it? Nope, it’s time to find out what happened to Orson, right? I mean, he was FALLING off a ROOF. Well? He’s not dead! Nope, he sorta hit a tree first, which slowed his fall some and so all he really suffered were some mean facial scratches. He has a flashback to the night Monique died and guess what? His mother did it! Of course, that’s no big surprise as she’s pretty much just the evilest mommy to ever come around. Need proof of that? Just read on. So he covered up not only for his mother but for himself. His mother is the one who yanked Monique’s teeth, to Orson’s disgust. What prevented him from calling the cops? Apparently, Gloria blamed Orson for his father committing suicide years earlier? I’m not 100% sure on that. In essence, he owed her. Bree is released to her family, to recuperate at home. Though who thought putting Danielle in charge of her mother was a good idea? She ditches out when Gloria comes over so she can go to the Pizzeria. But not before Gloria has Danielle give her mother some tranquilizer-laced soup. Right about this time, Alma finally frees herself from the attic prison that Gloria locked her in (remember that?) and is on the roof. She calls for Danielle’s attention as she’s leaving, but the teen doesn’t hear her. And? Alma falls off the roof. Yes. I’m sensing a theme, aren’t you? Well, when Andrew learns that Danielle left their mother with Gloria, he rushes home. Just in time too, since Gloria had just deposited the drugged Bree into a warm bathtub, intent on staging her suicide. Unfortunately, Gloria just clobbers Andrew in the face with her cane so he’s not much help. BUT! Orson does make it home from the hospital and finds his mother and Bree just in time. Apparently, this isn’t the first suicide scene Orson stumbled upon and he correctly deduces that his mother staged his father’s own suicide. And then blamed it on Orson. Best I can figure out, his father had cheated on her (gee, wonder why) and we all know how Gloria feels about such things. Anyhow, the struggle with Orson is too much for Gloria, and she starts to suffer a stroke.

Not in my house, he thinks. So he carries her over to Alma’s house, expecting she’s going to die. That’s when he notices the dead Alma laying in the bushes. So he lays Gloria next to Alma, making it look as though Alma jumped (suicide! again!) and Gloria found her and the shock gave her a stroke. Alma’s fake suicide note from a few eps back backs up the story, and Monique’s bag o’ teeth gets Mike permanently off the hook. Gloria survived the stroke, but is now paralyzed and without speech so she won’t be blabbing anything anytime soon. Orson feels the weight of the world is finally off his shoulders and he skips off home to take Bree on that honeymoon he’s been promising her.

Wow, that was quick, huh? You could pretty much tell they hurried that storyline up, that it was meant to continue a lot further into the season. So I think a lot of details were glossed over and the ending felt very rushed. Cool, but rushed. And the really bad news? Two weeks until the next new episode. *sigh*

Normally, today I would be giving you a rundown of what happened on last night’s “Desperate Housewives.” However, I’m out of town for the long weekend and probably will be out until tomorrow afternoon sometime. This means I’m unable to see last night’s episode that is right now waiting patiently for me on my DVR back home. And while my fingers itch to find out if Orson died falling off that parking structure or not, I’m going to resist. So, if you’d like to see a quick recap of last night’s show, visit the recaplet over at Television Without Pity. That should give you a good idea of what went on. I will resist visiting that link as best I can.

If you are like me, out of town or just haven’t had a chance to watch your DVR’d episode of “Desperate Housewives” yet, then you can read Television Without Pity’s completely awesome full recap of last week’s episode to remind you of what happened and where we left off. Hopefully, I’ll be back with a post tomorrow (though probably not a recap) but if not, I’ll see you Wednesday!

Friday’s “Martha Stewart Show” saw the return of “Man Day.” Martha did this last year, where everyone in the audience is a man and the topics are geared towards them. This year, it’s not only men but single men. Who better to have on the show, then, than Eva Longoria? Seems like the obvious choice to me! Eva helped Martha demonstrate a recipe for the men to prepare themselves called “Croque Monsieur”. Sounds fancy huh? Turns out, its a grilled ham and cheese sandwich. Still, this is Martha and she makes it look worth of a French bistro. Check the Martha Stewart web page later on today for video of Eva’s segment. I’m sure it’ll be good watch!

With the wedding now just months away, Eva Longoria and fiance Tony Parker have been spotted out shopping for wedding gifts. Reports say the duo was allowed special access to Macy’s in New York City after hours in order to fill out their all-important wedding registry.

“They took a private two hour tour of the registry department. They’re making it totally affordable, and were just having fun”, a friend tells Life & Style magazine.

The two are set to be married on July 7th of this year near Parker’s native Paris, France. Mindy Weiss is planning the ceremony for the couple, she’s also worked on the wedding of Jessica Simpson so it sounds like we should expect a lavish affair.

This is a rather unlikely pairing, wouldn’t you say? Apparently, former president George Bush Sr. met Teri Hatcher three years ago at a dinner party hosted by hotelier Steven Wynn and hit it off. The two have been friends ever since, and even trade emails with one another, sharing their respective news. They were recently spotted in Los Angeles, enjoying a lunch date together. The two exited the restaurant (as you can see to the left) looking comfortable with one another and, well, happy. The former president even gifted Teri with a friendly pat on the butt, apparently. Yes, it would appear that they are that good of friends. Now, I would never have picked these two as friends out of a lineup, but it’s cute. Of course, this makes my mind wander and wonder to itself, “Does this mean Teri Hatcher is a Republican?”

In case you missed it, Eva Longoria was on “The View” yesterday morning. While she was there, she talked about her wedding to Tony Parker and how much she enjoys being engaged. In fact, if she had her wish, she would be engaged forever because she is loving all the celebration, congratulations and pageantry that goes along with it. She flashed her ring (at the ladies’ request), and boy, is it a doozy! She also talked a little bit about The Dixie Chicks, who were big winners at Sunday night’s Grammy awards and a big Hot Topic that morning. And, of course, she talked about “Desperate Housewives”, and things going on with her character. She made it clear that she doesn’t share Gabby’s notion that getting old is a bad thing. In fact, Eva said she was looking forward to getting older, that every wrinkle tells a story and she wants to embrace the wisdom that age will give her. That’s a pretty healthy outlook! She mentioned that Gabby and Carlos WILL be reunited but don’t look for it to happen anytime this season. She will, however, get a new love interest sometime fairly soon played by former “Sex in the City” star John Slattery. If you’d like to see some video segments from the show, click on over to ABC.com’s video page. They have three segments from the Eva Longoria interview. Also, check out “Watching The View” here on 451press to hear more about yesterday’s show.

Yay for a new “Desperate Housewives” episode! It was a juicy one too! (honestly, when aren’t these episodes juicy??) The Scavo’s are gearing up for the opening of the pizzeria. Edie comes over to ask Tom to hire her now despised nephew Austin. Tom agrees to it because Edie has an awesome butt. Well, not really, but yeah, really. However, Lynette discovers Austin smoking pot at work one day and fires him on the spot. Imagine Lynette’s surprise when she sees Austin hanging out at an employee meeting. She calls Tom out on it… right in front of all the employees. He explains he’s giving Austin another chance and she blasts his decision. They then go into private to discuss the matter and Tom lets her know that while he expects to have to check his balls at the door at home, this is HIS pizzeria and he wants to be the boss here. He also explains his reasons for hiring Austin back, which are actually pretty good reasons. Lynette promises to kowtow to her husband and even lets him blast her in front of the employees to make up for her shameful lack of disrespect from before. Which, was kinda funny.

Gabby is shopping at Macy’s with Zack on her thirty-first birthday (don’t you all go to Macy’s on your birthdays??), where she runs into a very hunky lawyer who, of course, works for Zack. They go out on a date but Zack wants to make sure that the date doesn’t go to well. He spies through the windows of Gabby’s house and when he sees things starting to get a little too hot and heavy for his liking, he gives his employee a call. And tells him what to tell Gabby. What’d he say? That Gabby was a little too old for him. Ouch! It works and she kicks him out tout suite. And Zack is still super, super creepy. So not so much with the whole “just friends” thing.

Susan gets ready to go to Jane’s funeral. She feels a little weird about it (rightly so) and doesn’t want to draw much attention. At the same time, she wants to be there for Ian. Her plan to stay under the radar goes well until she sees a former friend of Jane’s hitting shamelessly on Ian and then dishing about Ian with another woman later on. She quite literally cannot help herself and outs herself as Ian’s new flame. Of course, this classy woman then takes the opportunity to announce the news of Susan and Ian’s relationship to the rest of the funeral go-ers. Susan, in return, goes and hides in the basement with the stiffs. Ian comes to comfort her, and propose. No answer is given because it is a funeral and there are dead people around, so the conversation is delayed. I have a feeling it’s going to be a yes though.

I’m pretty sure this is the episode that was filmed at Marcia’s house while she was on bedrest since you never really saw her OUT of bed. Bree confronts Orson about the rape and he finally decides to tell Bree the whole story about Monique. Unfortunately, we the audience are left out of the conversation. Bree is outraged that Orson let Mike take the fall for Monique’s murder and makes him promise to go to the authorities about it. The next day, he visits Alma and Gloria and confronts them about the rape. He promises Alma that he will not leave Bree for her, even if Alma does turn up pregnant, and that he’s promised to go to the police. Alma starts having doubts and wants to go to the police herself. That is, until Gloria locks her in the attic. She’s becoming more and more of a “Mommy Dearest” every day, isn’t she?

Meanwhile, Mike is seeing a hypnotherapist to help him get his memory back. Little by little, he’s getting it. He now remembers virtually everything except for Monique. At one session, however, he finally recalls how he met Monique. He was called out to her house for a plumbing emergency. She comes on a little thick, but he brushes her off, assuring her he’s already seeing someone. She doesn’t seem that should matter. So, she’s a little bit of a tramp. Mike needs to leave for a part for her sink and when he returns, Monique is nowhere to be found. What Mike does find, however, is a set of hands wearing yellow gloves. Who is it? He doesn’t quite recall yet. But at least now he’s sure that he didn’t kill Monique. At the next session, however, he finally remembers that it was Orson who wore the gloves. Now he’s just plain mad and hunts Orson down at the hospital. Why is Orson at the hospital? Well Bree had seen the bag of teeth outside one of the windows of her house (??) and used a rigged ladder to retrieve them. The ladder broke and Bree took a nasty fall. Mike finds Orson in the parking garage, feeling pretty sorry for himself, and fisticuffs ensue. This all results in Orson accidentally (YES, accidentally) falling off of the multistory parking structure. And? To be continued. Next week!

The “Desperate Housewives” dolls by famed doll creator Madame Alexander have made their debut. Retailers are taking orders now and “the girls” will be in stores early this summer.

Regarding the dolls’ lack of resemblance to the actresses who portray the characters, Jane Abrahams the director of marketing for Madame Alexander says:

The “Desperate Housewives” dolls embody the qualities of the women of Wisteria Lane, though they are not meant to be replicas of the actresses. In fact, they are referred to as “non-dedicated sculpts.”

“It is the character and their great sense of fashion that our company wanted to bring to life.”

Well, that explains that. The dolls’ outfits were styled directly from outfits that were worn on the show, for that extra note of authenticity. These dolls are all about fashion. Want to learn more about each doll’s specific look? Read on below.

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I still haven’t been able to find a good clip of Felicity’s Oprah appearance, but I did find a good one from the interview she did on Jimmy Kimmel Live last week. She went on to discuss her new “Practical Guide” book, of course. Highlights included the debating of whether or not riding a motorcycle was sexy (she: yes. he: I’ll die.) and Jimmy’s mispronouncing of the word “menstruate”. I was hopelessly distracted by Felicity’s plunging neckline on her leopard print dress. Her chest looked unfortunately skeletal and I kept wanting to go cover her up. But it’s a cute interview and I suggest you give it a watch. Including today there are 4 days until the next new “Desperate Housewives” episode. Woot!