Desperate Housewives

Has she or hasn’t she? That’s the question, isn’t it? Rumors are running rampant on the internet that Teri Hatcher has had Botox and/or Restylane and she says that those rumors simply aren’t true. “I don’t use Botox or Restylane and I’ve never had any surgery, no matter what you’ve read,” she told the British edition of Glamour magazine recently for it’s March issue. In fact, she knows all the rumors about her that are circulating around the internet, and they drive her nuts. “[My friend] keeps threatening to put these computer child locks on my computer so I can’t torture myself. It hurts, you know?” It has to be rough, to be placed under that kind of a microscope, where your every action and appearance is analyzed. I can see where the rumors have come from. For being 42, Teri looks pretty darned good. In fact, if I can look half as good at the same age, I’ll consider myself very, very blessed. Botox or not, it’s not really any of our business. But I suppose there’s nothing to stop us from speculating, either.

Remember back when Eva Longoria opened London’s Harrods department store huge winter sale? Well, it’s back in the news today. Eva was sent a bill for the $19,000 worth of designer products she’d picked up at the sale and she wasn’t really expecting that. She incorrectly assumed she’d be allowed to take some things home for free, apparently. According to the news story over at askmen.com, “she was stunned when she was sent the bill. She thought she was allowed to have what she wanted for free as an extra thank you for turning up.” This, of course, was on top of the $100,000 she was paid to open the sale. Now, Eva is no shoplifter, she paid the bill she was sent in a timely manner, shocked or no. However, she’s now probably thinking she could have done without that extra designer purse she grabbed.

So, once again, we had no new “Desperate Housewives” last night. We had The Super Bowl, though. And the promise of a new “Desperate Housewives” next week. The promos for the episode look good and I’d post one here if I could find one somewhere. So far, not so much luck with that. So today I’m going to talk about Felicity’s new book. It’s being mentioned in articles across the country as a good Valentine’s Day present for the single man or woman in your life. Or heck, even the attached could find some useful nuggets in this book. The book, of course, is A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend: For Every Guy Who Wants to Be One/For Every Girl Who Wants to Build One. The Amazon.com review says:

At some point, every guy–player, geek, mamas boy, “regular Joe”–meets a woman who makes him want to be a boyfriend. A good boyfriend. Problem is, unless hes had some first-rate training (by a previous girlfriend, a sister, a mom), he probably doesn’t even know what that means. Felicity Huffman and Patricia Wolff come to the rescue with a rollicking–and whip-smart–handbook to navigating the minefield of male-female relationships. Directed at men (though of course its women who’ll buy it, then leave it at their boyfriends place–accidentally on purpose), A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend lays out the many steps involved in becoming a good boyfriend, while still maintaining guy-dignity. It covers issues like: - Who decides when you become a boyfriend (answer: She does.) - How to look like you’re listening, even when you’re not (If you’re busted, just say “You’re so pretty, I’m distracted.”) - Ten things never to say on the first date (#4: “I just did that to freak you out.”) - Finding the middle ground between too cool (think third grade) and too eager (think surprise visits) - Why becoming a good boyfriend is a lot like training for the A team Filled with humor, ribaldry, common sense, and assorted outdoor skills, A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend is the next dating guide to dominate the bestseller lists.

I have to admit, it sounds like a lot of fun and I might have to thumb through it at one point. Even though, you know, I am pretty much a relationship expert. Aren’t we all?

Slow news day? You decide. Do you remember a television commercial… ohhh… it would have been over two years ago? The one where Nicollette Sheridan and the former Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens were in the locker room and she took off her coat or something similarly silly? And everyone was rather up in arms about it, in light of Janet Jackson’s recent “wardrobe malfunction”? I have vague memories, myself. But apparently the FCC has a longer memory than I do. Not of the commercial (though I’m sure they remember that too), but of a conversation Nicollette had with morning dj Todd Schnitt (he goes by M.J. Kelli of the “M.J. Morning Show” on WFLZ-FM) a couple days after the commercial aired. Apparently, Nicollette wasn’t informed that the conversation was being broadcast live instead of being taped for broadcasting later on. And, apparently, this is a big no-no. So the station is being fined $10,000 for the infraction. Clear Channel Communications, the parent company of the radio station claims Nicollette was “advised that the call was from a radio show very early on, before any substantive discussion occurred.”

I guess all you can say about all this is… “Oops!”

I can’t be the only one who’s frustrated with the lack of new episodes right now. I thought the hiatus was over and I was enjoying the sinful sinfulness of the whole thing and now? Boom, no new episodes for two weeks! That’s just cruel! So, in an effort to tide us “Desperate” fans over in the meantime, I’ve hunted down some juicy spoilers for us to enjoy. If you don’t wan to be spoiled, then don’t click the “read more” link below. If you are interested to see what’s coming up, come with me and let’s dish!

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