Desperate Housewives

If you’d like to know what happened last week, by all means, go check it out.

Bob and Lee get a metal fountain/sculpture and all the neighborhood women simply hate it. They talk about who should be the new homeowners association president as they haven’t had one since Mary Alice killed herself four years ago. Has it been four years? Really? Dang. Anyhow, no one has wanted the job but Katherine nobly steps up to the plate. All it will take is an election and she can have that “atrocity” gone by the weekend. Susan thinks they should at least go talk to the guys about it first, but not her since they hate her. Bree is then nominated, simply because she has a gay son and can probably relate best to Bob and Lee. Next thing you know, the whole gaggle of them are confronting the men and Susan spurts out about how she loves art and their sculpture. Katherine lets them know it’s not appropriate for Wisteria Lane. Still, Bob insists that it will stay. Hence, war is declared. Slow day? Apparently, the sculpture is a rather noisy fountain as well. It wakes up Susan and Mike. She asks if they can move it to their backyard, Mike can’t sleep and he’s been working long hours. Some snide remarks are made by Lee about the racket coming from Susan’s house that they need the fountain to drown out.

Lynette delivers snacks to her kids in their treehouse and she receives a phone call from her doctor. What is the news? Her kids let her know she can’t talk about being sick up in the treehouse. Bree calls Danielle at the convent only to discover that she has left. Uh oh. Cat’s out of the bag. Now it is known that Phyllis sprung the girl. Edie wants to go golfing with Carlos, but he won’t let her. She gave him a gift. For what? Who knows. It’s monogrammed golfballs. But with her initials. Why? So everyone will know who his balls belong to. Ouch. Carlos touches base with Gaby, they make plans to meet at a hotel. She notices a cable van across the street that’s been watching her awful close. She figures Victor is having her tailed while he’s out of town, but she’s not going to call anything off. Instead, she poses as a young boy and takes off with a gaggle of neighborhood kids on their bikes. Har!

At the hotel, Gaby runs into John, of all the luck, and his girlfriend/wife/fiance Tammy (I think that was her name). Tammy is a bit in the family way. She makes a mention of him having “married up” so I guess they are married. She makes an excuse to them on why she’s at the hotel (spa weekend) before meeting up with Carlos. Bree stops in to visit Phyllis. And, of course, to grab Danielle and take her back to the convent. But Danielle insists that since she’s turning 18 that weekend, its her plan to stay with grandma and deliver her baby there. Oh, and she plans to keep the baby herself too. Bob and Lee try to campaign to get Lynette onto their side. They want her on their side, against the homeowner’s association otherwise Katherine might come after her and her treehouse. So, Lynette decides to go to the meeting after all. Where she asks Katherine if she’ll leave it all be after the fountain is removed. Which Katherine pretty much says that she won’t leave it be. Lynette decides to run against Katherine, and hopefully win.

Tom doesn’t approve of Lynette’s move. He doesn’t think she’s up to it in her condition. She wants to stand up for herself and this is her best way to do that, apparently. Over at the hotel, Gaby and Carlos are about to get hot and heavy when there’s a knock at the door. It’s John at the door. OOH. Not good. She wants Carlos to hide, which he does reluctantly. John then tells Gaby that he wants to start up their affair again. Lynette tries to get Susan to campaign for her, but Susan promised Katherine that she’d vote for her. BOO. Susan’s argument is thin, but then, the whole thing is pretty thin. Gaby tries to get rid of John, but he’s stubborn. He insists on reliving some of the “old times” with Carlos listening in. She practically pushes him out of the room. And Carlos is TICKED.

He’s upset that Gaby faked an orgasm with Carlos while John watched from the closet (one of the “old times” that was relieved). He wants to leave and does, but not before Gaby compares him to John. Both Katherine and Lynette campaign pretty heavily for votes around the neighborhood, making promises on both sides of the fence. Bree is upset that Danielle has developed a “maternal instinct”. Andrew snorts, Danielle doesn’t want the baby. She just wants to tick off Bree. And because grandma offers her a cushy life in the retirement community where she won’t have to work or go to school. Carlos pays a visit to John, friendly, he promises. Carlos tells John he has forgiven him for sleeping with his wife. John tells him that he fell in love with Gaby too and Carlos forgives him for that too. Why is he doing that? Because he knows what it’s like to love someone and forget the difference between right and wrong. Hmm. This sounds foreboding. At the Homeowner’s Association meeting, they’re going to vote and who wins? It’s a dead tie. Then Edie points out that Susan voted twice, which she did. She’s forced to pick, and so she goes with Katherine because she hates the fountain so so much. Susan pretty much comes out looking like crap, as usual.

Bree visits Phyllis, under the pretense of apologizing. They get Danielle alone and apologize to her as well. They point out not to overdo Phyllis, since she is old and prone to heart attacks. Plus, they point out living around a bunch of old people who will be her new friends. And who would want to give that up to go to college in Florida with a bunch of hot guys and drive a new convertible? All this is making an impression on Danielle who is looking like she might be changing her mind after all. Katherine shares a victory toast with Adam, or rather wants to but Adam is reluctant. He thinks she’s gotten a little out of line. He doesn’t think she’s doing a very good job of making them friends. Danielle is packed up and leaving Phyllis’ house, leaving Phyllis looking defeated. And Bree feels a little sorry for her, for what she has lost. She offers Phyllis a position as babysitter, so she and Orson can go out once in a while. Phyllis jumps at the chance. Carlos shows up at Gaby’s place, he wants to talk. He wants to “do the right thing” and end the affair. It’s not right. He wants them to each break up with their significant others. Then, wait maybe 6 months, and then get back together. Gaby is predictably resistant to this, but she admires his “good guy” self. They kiss goodbye, so that it will last six months. But, however, the cable guy across the street is snapping some photos of the clinch. Forgot about him, didn’t they?

Lynette watches her kids play in the treehouse while Susan comes and tries to apologize. She says she will stand up for Lynette and her treehouse when the time comes. Then Lynette makes her feel bad by telling her why the treehouse is so important. They make up and are friends again and none too soon because here comes Katherine. The treehouse can stay! It was “grandfathered” in, is her excuse. She wants to be a good neighbor, after all. Lynette is confused by the conflicting behavior. Bree is talking to someone, and it turns out it’s our “cable guy”. He was working for her, not Victor, it turns out. Katherine stops by to visit Bob and Lee who are resistant to remove the fountain. They tell her they know all about Chicago. So unless she wants the news unleashed to the neighborhood, the fountain must stay. Ooh, blackmail.