Desperate Housewives

Yep, I’m gonna be here (Pacific time zone of course), sharing with you all my moment-by-moment impressions of the “Desperate Housewives” season finale tonight! If even half the rumors are true, it should be an amazing evening. So stay right here and stay tuned. And I’m going to try not to think of what I’m going to do (not mention what I’m going to write about!) all summer long without my “‘Wives”!

Without further ado:
9:00 - OOH, the promo for the ep looks GOOD. And hallelujah, the return of BREE!

9:01 - The wedding setup looks awesome. I mean, talk about dream wedding. And, of course, Gabby is your typical bridezilla. Bah. I almost hope Carlos and Victor both throw her off a bridge. Wee! Here comes Bree!

9:02 - HA! I knew it!! Pregnant!

9:06 - Ah, the old “Three Days Earlier” thing. Good times. Edie - manipulative but with pangs of guilt. Gabby - still amazingly selfish. Susan - fun to see her planning a wedding with Mike for a change.

9:08 - Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. *gulp* Lynette seems to be handling it pretty well, but we all know that what lies below is often more complicated. They’re strapped for cash? What about the booming biz the pizzeria was doing (until Chef Guy was fired?)?

9:10 - Wait, WOAH. This isn’t Orson’s child? You know, makes me wonder if it’s not her daughters baby. You know, like on “All My Children” when that creepy fertility doctor took Erika’s aborted baby and implanted it in his wife? *shrug* I just don’t see a) Bree cheating on Orson or b) him being that okay about it.

9:11 - OR (here’s a brain wave) maybe she’s pretending to be pregnant so people will think she’s going to have a baby and Danielle is hidden away somewhere and Bree and Orson plan to raise the child as their own. Maybe!

9:13 - Victor’s dad looks about five years older than him. Which is more a dig at Victor than it sounds.

9:16 - Kay, I am loving Mike and Susan together and happy. I mean, yeah they’ve got issues. But they’re adorable. Being with Mike actually makes me like Susan more. WOW.

9:18 - Wow, Lynette’s mom is a piece of work. I mean, WOW. Not remembering how many children her own daughter has? How old they are? Okay, I can see now why Lynette didn’t want to tell her mom. I would probably change my name and move under the cover of darkness to hide from that woman!

(for more liveblogging goodness, click the link below)

9:23 - You know, I just had a flash. I can see Carlos wanting Edie to see a fertility doc if she doesn’t get pregnant before too long. The poor guy seems so desperate. Geeze, Edie, he can’t possibly be worth it because he’s obviously in it for the child and not her. I just don’t see that changing.

9:26 - I have to say I’m kinda on Tom’s side here. Yes, her mom is psycho, but Lynette doesn’t have a whole lot of room to talk.

9:27 - OH! He did NOT just call Gabby a “stupid woman”. OMG. I don’t like her either, but holy COW. Not good.

9:32 - So he sent his dad to apologize? And who cares about the whole opinion/governor thing, he called her STUPID. That’s a deal-breaker right there. Gabby, you are dumber than a bag of hammers.

9:34 - Heh, it’s an “I want my $2″ style paperboy! OOOH, Carlos found her birth control pills. HA! Okay, this should be getting interesting.

9:36 - Uh huh, Danielle is up in boarding school huh? The whole family seems in on it. I’m telling you, it’s Danielle’s baby!

9:38 - Gorgeous wedding, but it’s an abomination against nature. Oooh, here comes Carlos! HA! Upstaging the wedding! Sweet! Dang, Edie got dumped HARSH. But, she asked for it.

9:43 - Still can’t believe Gabby actually got married. BAH! Dumbass. She’ll regret that, probably sooner rather than later. And it’s so good to have (scheming) Bree back. You mean Lynette hasn’t told her FRIENDS??!!

9:45 - Oooh, overheard convo with Victor and dad. What an arse. See, Gabby? You putz! I do kinda feel sorry for her. Naive, sweet, silly Gabby.

9:46 - Kayla and Lynette’s mom scheming together: bad combination! Danger, Will Robinson!

9:47 - I thought Susan and Mike would get married this episode and then I started to think I was wrong and now I think I’m right again. And after I reported it on Friday, how soon I forget!

9:48 - Aww, sweet scene with Gabby and Carlos. They so belong together. And I think Gabby is realizing it more than Carlos would suspect. OOOH! Kiss! She kissed him! HA! Awesome.

9:53 - I’m sorry Lynette, I can’t feel sorry for you when Rick is involved. Cancer? Yes. Rick? No. Enjoying this mom/daughter showdown. Sounds an awful lot like “like mother, like daughter”. Cycles repeat. Lynette sanctimonious? Ha! Hehe. Will be interesting watching these two work things out. Go Lynette’s mom!

9:56 - Typical, Bree forging an email to Julie from Danielle. See? Danielle is still very much pregnant. And Bree? Is not. See? SEE!! I was RIGHT. Go me.

9:57 - I love what Susan is doing. Surprising Mike with this simple wedding. *squee*

9:59 - Aww, I love their simple, outdoorsy wedding more than Gabby’s super-fancy one. This is super sweet. Yay for them finally getting married, huh? Finally.

10:00 - NO, Edie is NOT going to kill herself? Did she?? HOLY SHIT?? Seriously?? ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, that’s not kind. You can’t make me wait all summer with that knowledge. GAH! Regardless, I hope you hang out with me all summer long while I search for new and interesting things to talk about every day. Expect a few “I can’t believe they killed off Edie” posts.