Episode 320: “Gossip”
Gosh, I feel like I’m getting spoiled with all these new episodes, how about you? Last night was a good one, one that saw the revealing of Mrs. McC’s big secret at long, long last. Parker convinced her to spill the beans since he was so tired of seeing her being victimized by the neighborhood. Because of course, even though the police let her go the tongues were wagging with speculation against her. Turns out? Her husband died of natural causes in the middle of the night and before she could call the coroner in the morning she discovered he’d never changed the beneficiary on his pension plan from his first wife (who he’d been married to a measly two years) to her (who he’d been married to for 30 years). Whoops! Knowing she couldn’t afford to lose it all, she put him in the freezer so that she could keep her house. The only thing left unanswered is what happens to her money now? Will she still get the checks? Cuz I think that’s a little unlikely. But whatever.
Gabby learns about Edie and Carlos at her own engagement party and has the audacity to be outraged by it. She snubs Edie and convinces Lynette and Susan to snub her too. Of course, Edie is furious and hires Lynette to cater her son’s birthday party and Susan to come sign children’s books. The girls think they’re in the clear since Gabby is going to a “thing” with Victor. But Gabby comes home early and suspects her friends. They try to hide from her in a “House of Reptiles” van, but a spitting tarantula makes them think otherwise. Gabby throw a huge shitfit and is on the verge of ruining poor Travers’ birthday party when Carlos hauls her off to have a heart to heart. He reveals that he is just having fun with Edie which makes Gabby happy because obviously she still has Carlos’ heart. Which makes my stomach churn because, HELLO!, it’s not like she’s engaged to someone else or anything. Ugh.
Lynette continues the flirting with Mr. Ex-Druggie and that’s also making my stomach churn (maybe it’s a bug?). He’s not THAT cute, his cooking can’t be THAT good. I feel sorry for Tom, I really do. Kayla spies the two of them together and alerts Tom to the situation. He tells Lynette that he wants to return to work and they can let the new guy go. Lynette hems and haws and basically confirms poor Tom’s suspicions. She should be ashamed of herself. (Listen to me, the morality police!)
And then there’s Susan. Poor, poor Susan. She’s still determined to ignore both men. That is, until she goes commando on some poor guy in a parking lot and gets sent to anger management therapy. Doesn’t take long for the therapist to uncover her problem; she’s got man trouble. Susan thinks this means that ultimately she loves Ian so she tells Mike her decision and runs into Ian’s waiting arms. Problem solved, right? Well, then Mike leaves a depressing goodbye message on her machine and Ian overhears her listening to it not once but twice. Knowing when his goose is cooked, he packs up and leaves. Just like that! He’s headed back to England. Uhm, okay. But! Now Mike has left as well! Whatever shall our bold heroine do? From the previews for next week’s show, looks like she climbs a mountain looking for him. Fun!

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