Desperate Housewives

Yay for a new “Desperate Housewives” episode! It was a juicy one too! (honestly, when aren’t these episodes juicy??) The Scavo’s are gearing up for the opening of the pizzeria. Edie comes over to ask Tom to hire her now despised nephew Austin. Tom agrees to it because Edie has an awesome butt. Well, not really, but yeah, really. However, Lynette discovers Austin smoking pot at work one day and fires him on the spot. Imagine Lynette’s surprise when she sees Austin hanging out at an employee meeting. She calls Tom out on it… right in front of all the employees. He explains he’s giving Austin another chance and she blasts his decision. They then go into private to discuss the matter and Tom lets her know that while he expects to have to check his balls at the door at home, this is HIS pizzeria and he wants to be the boss here. He also explains his reasons for hiring Austin back, which are actually pretty good reasons. Lynette promises to kowtow to her husband and even lets him blast her in front of the employees to make up for her shameful lack of disrespect from before. Which, was kinda funny.

Gabby is shopping at Macy’s with Zack on her thirty-first birthday (don’t you all go to Macy’s on your birthdays??), where she runs into a very hunky lawyer who, of course, works for Zack. They go out on a date but Zack wants to make sure that the date doesn’t go to well. He spies through the windows of Gabby’s house and when he sees things starting to get a little too hot and heavy for his liking, he gives his employee a call. And tells him what to tell Gabby. What’d he say? That Gabby was a little too old for him. Ouch! It works and she kicks him out tout suite. And Zack is still super, super creepy. So not so much with the whole “just friends” thing.

Susan gets ready to go to Jane’s funeral. She feels a little weird about it (rightly so) and doesn’t want to draw much attention. At the same time, she wants to be there for Ian. Her plan to stay under the radar goes well until she sees a former friend of Jane’s hitting shamelessly on Ian and then dishing about Ian with another woman later on. She quite literally cannot help herself and outs herself as Ian’s new flame. Of course, this classy woman then takes the opportunity to announce the news of Susan and Ian’s relationship to the rest of the funeral go-ers. Susan, in return, goes and hides in the basement with the stiffs. Ian comes to comfort her, and propose. No answer is given because it is a funeral and there are dead people around, so the conversation is delayed. I have a feeling it’s going to be a yes though.

I’m pretty sure this is the episode that was filmed at Marcia’s house while she was on bedrest since you never really saw her OUT of bed. Bree confronts Orson about the rape and he finally decides to tell Bree the whole story about Monique. Unfortunately, we the audience are left out of the conversation. Bree is outraged that Orson let Mike take the fall for Monique’s murder and makes him promise to go to the authorities about it. The next day, he visits Alma and Gloria and confronts them about the rape. He promises Alma that he will not leave Bree for her, even if Alma does turn up pregnant, and that he’s promised to go to the police. Alma starts having doubts and wants to go to the police herself. That is, until Gloria locks her in the attic. She’s becoming more and more of a “Mommy Dearest” every day, isn’t she?

Meanwhile, Mike is seeing a hypnotherapist to help him get his memory back. Little by little, he’s getting it. He now remembers virtually everything except for Monique. At one session, however, he finally recalls how he met Monique. He was called out to her house for a plumbing emergency. She comes on a little thick, but he brushes her off, assuring her he’s already seeing someone. She doesn’t seem that should matter. So, she’s a little bit of a tramp. Mike needs to leave for a part for her sink and when he returns, Monique is nowhere to be found. What Mike does find, however, is a set of hands wearing yellow gloves. Who is it? He doesn’t quite recall yet. But at least now he’s sure that he didn’t kill Monique. At the next session, however, he finally remembers that it was Orson who wore the gloves. Now he’s just plain mad and hunts Orson down at the hospital. Why is Orson at the hospital? Well Bree had seen the bag of teeth outside one of the windows of her house (??) and used a rigged ladder to retrieve them. The ladder broke and Bree took a nasty fall. Mike finds Orson in the parking garage, feeling pretty sorry for himself, and fisticuffs ensue. This all results in Orson accidentally (YES, accidentally) falling off of the multistory parking structure. And? To be continued. Next week!