Desperate Housewives

Last night we were treated to a change of pace. Instead of Mary Alice doing the episode’s voice over talents, we got to listen to Rex Van de Kamp instead. And while it was a cute shift, I did have to wonder a couple times if Rex would really care whether or not Austin cheated on Julie. Something tells me he wouldn’t have. But, whatever, it was nice to hear from him again. I always thought he got the raw shaft on that show.

We have Gaby, who stirred the interest of an older, rich and rather powerful man (he’s running for mayor). So much so that he had his driver run into her car. She was resistant to going out with him, however, but finally gave in to dinner. Even then she didn’t seem very impressed. I put forward that she wasn’t interested because he was so much older. I bet if he was a teenager, she would have thought twice. At any rate, the guy isn’t discouraged but is rather encouraged. And he wants to marry her. Good luck with that, buddy.

It’s Tom and Lynette’s anniversary and all she wants to do is taking a hot bath and go to bed early. But Tom, that romantic devil, has other plans. The intricate plan involves (among other things) a limo driver picking Lynette up and dropping her off in the middle of nowhere where Tom will step out of the shadows in a horse drawn carriage… yadda yadda yadda. Lynette catches wind of this plan and voices her displeasure. Tom’s feelings are inevitably hurt, causing Lynette to realize she’s being a little bit of a tool. So the limo driver shows up (guess he didn’t get the cancellation?), she goes along for the ride. Tom, meanwhile, holds a poker night at the pizzeria for the guys on the street. It was during this poker game that Tom discovered that the limo driver didn’t get canceled. He rushes out to rescue Lynette, who’s been sitting in the cold and dark by herself for two hours. But instead of being madder than mad, she’s apologetic. She never should have rained on his parade and they do need to embrace the romance in their marriage. And then? Tom got lucky.

He was the only one, however. Carlos had big plans with a new fling. He was pretty excited about it too. But then he spotted Edie’s 8 year old son (who is in town staying with her while his father is in Africa) playing in the street (at night) alone. He put on the breaks with his date to go see what the deal was. Edie left to go out, leaving Travers (what kind of name is that??) behind by himself. Carlos won’t have any of that (because he’s a decent sort of person, unlike Edie) so he brings the boy home. His date huffs off, but Carlos gets bonus points in my book. He gets even more points when Edie stumbles home drunk three hours later and he reads her the riot act and calls her a bad mother.

Austin, the cheating dog, wants to get back together with Julie. He gives her a long love-note, explaining his love that apparently gives her pause and makes her consider taking him back for another chance. However, at exactly the same time Danielle Van de Tramp finds out she’s pregnant (presumably by Austin) and tells him. What to do? Papa Orson takes over, and decrees that Danielle is going to join him and Bree on their honeymoon (fun!) and then “go away” to have the baby. And Austin? He’s gonna skip town. Austin is resistant to leaving Julie until Andrew reminds Austin that he is a cheating dog and sooner or later, he’ll break Julie’s heart again. So after a pretty perplexing goodbye, he hops on his motorcycle and speeds away from Wisteria Lane. Huh. I have a feeling that little storyline isn’t quite over yet, don’t you?

Mike finally gets his belongings that he had on him the night of the accident and finds the engagement ring, complete with romantic inscription. He takes it back to the jeweler to see about getting a refund where he bumps into (gasp!) Susan, who is getting the new (bigger, natch) ring Ian gave her resized. She assumes the ring was for someone else (Edie?). In a completely implausible turn, the jeweler doesn’t have her sizing rings so has Susan try on Mike’s ring as a comparison. And guess what? It fits perfectly. Of course! Ian then let’s Mike know that he knew about the ring (or whatever, this is where I started getting confused) and they have a pissing match of sorts. This continues at Tom’s poker game, where the boys ultimately bet Susan herself. Well, not so much. They bet whether or not Mike can tell Susan the ring was for her. And Ian wins. Oh, and Ian wants to get married like NEXT MONTH. So not only is he vaguely creepy (I’ve always thought so, haven’t you?), but he’s also insecure too. Very sexy.

Next week? Another repeat. Sorry, guys!

Desperate Housewives, episode recap, My Husband the Pig, Episode 316