Desperate Housewives

If you want to know what I thought of last week’s action-packed episode, read this post.

Victor is still pondering the news that Edie revealed to him. He’s waiting for her, in the dark, when she gets home from a shopping trip. And, she answers a call from Carlos on her cellphone. He’s trying to talk her out of going back to Victor when she spots Victor standing in the hall so she breaks off the call quickly. He’s taking a month off, wants to take her on a honeymoon at last. She leaves the room for a moment, and he checks her cell phone and finds out that she was talking to Carlos. He wants to have a weekend on the boat, just the two of them. And apparently, he wants revenge. Dun, dun, DUN!

Bree introduces the baby to the neighbors, saying she’d had him in the middle of the night. And apparently, he’s a cryer. Lynette also divulges her excellent news regarding being clear of cancer! And then, we find out Lynette’s mom is shaking up with a boyfriend, right there in Lynette’s home! His name is Stan and everyone is kind of startled. Mike isn’t feeling very well, says he’s tired and doesn’t want to go visit Bree and the new baby. He takes another pill. And seems surlier than usual. Danielle, apparently has already left for school. Bree freaks out Mike about the costs and implications of preschool. This somehow devolves into an argument about circumcision between Orson and Bree. He’s against it and she’s for it. He apparently remembers his. His mom had it done when Orson was 5 years old. Yow. Mike takes another pill at Bree’s house and she spots him at it. He says it was asprin. From pain. You remember that accident two years ago? That one. She spots a leftover pill and it looks like anything but asprin. Victor and Gaby show up at the boat and she’s upset that there’s no crew to wait on them. He promises it will not be a boring trip. Gulp.

Lynette wants to talk her mom about Stan (she doesn’t even remember his name). She tries to convince her mother to leave and after she doesn’t get the hints, lays it out on the line. She thinks its about Stan but it’s everything (including teaching the kids how to make whiskey sours). She at least needs her own place, but she has no money. She gave the last of her money to Lynette after her sister kicked her out. Julie comes to Susan for help, wanting to know more about Dylan’s dad. So Susan stupidly tells Julie about what Katherine said about Dylan’s dad being abusive. And, as luck would have it, Dylan was in the next room and overheard. Bree figures out what kind of pill it was that Mike was taking and calls Susan. She wants to “talk”. Later, Mike comes home and Susan looks tense. She tells Mike about Bree’s suspicions (now hers!). It’s apparently a narcotic that is highly addictive. He denies being addicted to them and Susan buys it. She’s totally relieved. Bree is at the hospital and wants to know about getting her “son” circumsized. The doctor, however, has a note from Orson saying he doesn’t want the baby to get snipped. She’s pissed, of course. She confronts him about it and tries to reason with him. She thinks untrimmed penises are unsightly. Of course she does! Katherine comes home to see Dylan doing her “genealogy project”. Katherine doesn’t want her doing that project. They get into a little bit of a scuffle. Dylan tells Katherine what she learned and Katherine lays down the law. Dylan isn’t scared this time though. She says her mom can’t stop her this time. Looks like all that bullying has finally backfired against her.

Susan explains Mike’s explanation to Bree. Bree, of course isn’t buying it. Because she’s a recovering alcoholic and she’s knows all about addiction. She advises Susan to trust but verify. So Susan goes home and starts searching through all of Mike’s stuff, looking for pills. She has no luck until she looks inside a flashlight to find a baggie of pills. She’s devastated, of course. Lynette and her mom meet with Lynette’s sister. Of course, Lynette wants to pawn mom off on her sister. And she’s wise to the plot and won’t have it. She refuses to take mom back, and has notes prepared for her speech. Apparently, her mom put her into therapy. So Lynette realizes this isn’t working and opens up her sister’s trunk using her keyfob She runs out and puts her mom’s luggage into her sister’s car all quick-like. Then she takes off, while Lynette’s mom and sister bicker inside the diner. Hee! Carlos stops by Edie’s place where she gives him back a painting of his, that she cut a hole out of. She assures him that Victor is angrier than she is. She tells Carlos all about the pictures and how mad Victor was. So now he’s worried. He calls Gaby on her cell. He warns Gaby about Victor knowing, or tries to because she’s not buying it. Until she puts two and two together and realizes that maybe this lonely boat trip has another purpose. Victor comes in and confiscates the cell phone, at least until they get home. She’s worried, big time. So Victor spills that he knows about everything. She tries to explain herself (while keeping her distance). He’s pretty mad. He’s about to show her something when she knocks him overboard with an oar and powers the boat back to shore. Doh!

Dylan has another conversation with her mom. This time, Katherine has information about Dylan’s dad all written down for her. Before she hands it over though, she has to promise her that she will not bring him there or tell him where Katherine is. Apparently, he slapped Katherine around quite a bit. There was that bad night, that she doesn’t remember entirely. Sounds as if he tried to kill her so she took off with Dylan. Dylan feels bad, and has second thoughts on learning more about her dad. Katherine breathes a sigh of relief and we see the paper is blank. Was she lying again? Here comes Lynette’s sister with the luggage and the mother. They’re dumping her off with Lynette again. Her other sister is there, helping the younger sister out. The three disappear inside to discuss their mother’s fate. Bree sneaks out of the house with the baby while Orson is napping, on her way to a friend’s Bris. She comes up to the guy (forget what they’re called), wanting him to “do” her son while he’s at it. Of course, he’s suspicious but Bree talks her magic with him. She promises the baby will be as devout a Jew as she is.

Bree returns home with the baby and tells Orson she got the baby circumsized. He’s pissed (she’s surprised?). She thinks because her blood is in teh baby’s veins and not his, it was her decision. He’s insulted, as he should be. He sees himself as Benjamin’s father. She needs to remind herself that love makes them a family, not blood. She makes it up to him by referring to Ben as Orson’s son. Then she tells him Ben’s Hebrew name. Hee! Carlos meets Gaby at the harbor and she tells him that Victor is in the ocean. She was sure Victor had a gun, so Carlos wants to make sure they still have it before calling the police. And.. it’s not a gun. It’s a sweater. Exactly what Gaby asked for when she said she was cold. Carlos is going to call the Coast Guard anyhow. Meanwhile, mom listens in on Lynette and her sisters argue about who has to have her. Awkward. They all have their reasons for not wanting to have her in their homes. And none of them, save Lynette, feels bad for abandoning her. Lynette is saddened to learn this because she does. They offer to send Lynette money each month to care for their mother. She refuses the money and accepts her duty. She’s pretty mad at her sisters. Of course, by this point, mom takes off in a cab. Carlos and Gaby take the yacht back out and find Victor. Carlos drags him aboard and Victor is stunned that Gaby tried to kill him. He’s mad that Carlos is on the boat too. A fight breaks out and Victor goes for a knife. So what does Gaby do? She oars him again. Carlos wants to pull him back in again, except this time he’s not surfacing.

It’s nighttime now. Gaby and Carlos are sitting on the dock looking thunderstruck. They looked for six hours, he’s gone. It was self defense, right? They can’t prove that. Gaby immediately starts thinking they can cover this up. Because no one knew she was going out on the boat. So maybe he went by himself. They’ll need to cut the boat adrift. Susan confronts Mike with the pills. He wants to explain. She’s hurt and insulted. He didn’t want Susan to feel guilty. His doctor told him he should take a break from work after he wrenched his shoulder on the job. But he hasn’t because the baby = money so he’s kept working. He wants his child to have more than he had. She wants their child to have a healthy father. She wants to trust him. He dumps the pills down the garbage disposal. They hug and all seems well again. Until we see that Mike has some pills stashed in a pipe. Or we think he does. The show ends right there. Next week? TORNADO! Sweet!